"We have now landed in Antarctica Dr Jake” said the FA crew. Dr Jake was so excited to explore the cold land, as they made “their way out of the plane, Dr noticed a large amount of frozen mountains. “Its pretty hard to keep warm here” he said to one of his colleagues “But it sure is a amazing piece of land” he cried out
Walking around in the cold freezing ice, he thought it be a good ideal to put his glasses on, placing his google glass on his head, he flicked his hand at the button, to record all of the things he was doing!
Looking at the seals and the penguins made him feel like swimming. But at that time he knew he was alone! “HELLO” he yelled “HELLO”, with no one replying he knew he would be there for a long time!
As the day went by, there was still no one coming for him “HELP I’m starving” he cried out, Spreading his little blanket across the ice cold weather, he knew he wouldn't be able to survive! As he layed down to close his eyes, he heard someone calling out for him.
“Dr, Dr, Dr” the colleagues yelled, “are you ok” ? they asked, “Yes, yes I am ok” “I officially have experienced how the life is here in Antarctica” he said!
Your writing has a nice flow and some great language used. It starts off really well and introduces the story but the problem and solution come and go very quickly and could have a lot more added to them to make it more interesting and have more depth. Also just check carefully for your basic punctuation please. Sentences end with a full stop.
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